These · mistakes · I've · made

I have a new obsession and I'm a million percent sure that it is unhealthy.



















Zachary Quinto. Gosh, he is yummy. ♥

Today is a very depressing day, for I am mourning the loss of my beloved eyebrow piercing. My little beauty was about to turn eight months old when I decided she was really being rejected. For the last five months I have been in denial of the rejection process taking place. The sad thing is I really am upset over this. If you know me well then you know I have a undying love for piercings; thus, I feel deeply attached to them. I know it sounds stupid to be so attached to a little hole in your body but it was clear from early on that this was my calling. For those who don't know what piercing migration and rejection are I shall briefly explain. Migration is am early sign of rejection. It is often caused by snagging of the piercing which forces the piercing to heal from the inside out, ultimately in an effort to eject the metal completely from your body. Once the rejection process has started there is now stopping it. Skin layers start to shed off, leaving less piercing surface, causing barbell visibility through the skin. Rejection usually happens within the first few days of the piercing. The goal is the same: eject the metal. This can happen for many reasons such as piercing is too close to the surface, metal allergies, improper piercing, pressure from the oddly shaped barbell, or the worst reason: your body simply does not want it there. I have a feeling my migration was ultimately the result of a snag at the hair dresser. This caused the piercing to being migrating and turn into a formal rejection. I am very upset over this loss. All I can hope for is a healthy healing process when I get it redone.

So I'm going to post a picture... next to another picture.





Any resemblance? I think a little :] *loser*

Ahhhhh. This week has been super fucking stressful. Honestly, I'm lucky I survived.


Work was hectic as hell. Yes, I'm happy I was able to get a lot of hours, but shit even those three hour shifts killed me. This is my first day off since last Saturday, and before then I worked every day except Tuesday. Even when I got eight hours of sleep I was still dead during the day. Nonetheless I'm off this weekend, but come Monday I work everyday except Wednesday and Saturday. Oh, and on a depressing note, my little cutie quit :[. I was sad to find that out, maybe a little bit more sad than I should have been... :/


Shifting gears to school... wow. What can I say? I had a mid-term on Thursday and a math test on Friday. I spent every possible minute reading on Tuesday and Wednesday in order to prepare myself for Thursday's exam. Sure, I felt a little bit more prepared after catching up on 200 pages or so of reading, but I think I've finally learned the consequences of procrastinating. After my mid-term on Thursday, which I don't feel 100% confident about, I was still stressed out because now I had to go home, go to work, and then study for a math test. Not only that, I'd missed a class and so I didn't understand this one concept that coincides with linear programming. Anyway, Friday I took the test. I felt I did okay. After classes on Friday everyone was excited for Spring Break. Well, honestly, this won't be much of a Spring Break for me. Today I had to wake up at 5:50 a.m to go allll the way to Palatine and take my Basic Skills Test. This test is required for education majors. It's basically another ACT, but supposedly it's "easier". I'm not sure I agree. There were 125 questions, 90 of which were based on readings, and to put it simply I suck at reading comprehension. I just want to pass and be done with that test. It took me from 7:57 a.m until 11:09 a.m to complete it. Hm, felt longer than three hours. Anyway, now I'm freaking out because I guess Friday was "progress report" day for professors. I'm failing my Sociology class. Now I'm going to get an e-mail from both of my advisors. Lucky me. Like I said, my break will be anything but a break. One, I work. Two, I have to really prepare myself for the next Sociology exam, which just so happens to be the second day we're back from break. I have to pass this test. She said if you bomb two tests there's no way to come back, and if anyone remembers I hard core failed the first one: 49%.


Shifting gears once more, since I'm a little less stressed and don't have so much pressure on me, I will talk about what's going to be coming up in the next couple of months. I'm going to exclude exams and papers, because this is my stress-free paragraph. Hockey will be coming to an end and that makes me sad :[ On the upside I'm going to four concerts in a span of five months. March: Lady GaGa, April: Britney Spears, May: Keith Urban, July: Billy Joel and Elton John. Woot. I'm super excited. Another exciting update is come March I'm most likely going to finish my tattoo. The tattoo I have now isn't technically finished. There was going to be more to it, but since it was my first one I didn't want to find out it hurt to much and have half a tattoo. Now that I know I can handle it, I will most definitely be going back. For those who don't know, I plan on getting a phrase around my ankle. Right now it just has the symbol for Eternal. I'm thinking of maybe having the phrase say something along the lines of Eternal Life Immortal Soul Faith and Destiny. Then it will have my cousin's initials around it, since he is the reason I got the tattoo in the first place! Also, I plan on setting up an appointment to get my hair cut. I believe I got it cut in October, so it will almost be five months. Yup, time for another cut! I want to change the style, but I'm kind of afraid to step outside of my element. I like my hair the way it is, but I feel maybe a change is in need? The only problem is my hair is SUPER thin, and so any new style I choose wouldn't look like it does in those hair cut books. Meh, maybe I'll just stick with the layers. My last exciting bit of news is that I'm applying for the John Felice Rome Center! I want to go there in Spring of 2010, and so I decided it is best to get the application in early and have it out of my hands. I'm a little bummed that they won't review it until you have 15 credit hours, but it's my fault I only have 12. Hopefully I get accepted to the campus, it would be such a great experience!


Anyhow, I'm going to get off the computer, or at least try to lol. I need to eat and get ready for hockey, kind of. Adiós :]

I’ve been caught sideways out here on the crossroads
Trying to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul
It’s hard when the devil won’t get off your back
It’s like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack



{Chorus}
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah



Skeletons and Ghosts are hiding in the shadows
Threatening me with all the things that they know
Choices and mistakes, they all know my name
But I’m through holding in and holding onto all that pain



Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
Got No more tears to cry
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah



And I know I know I know I know I’ve been forgiven
I know I know I know I’m gonna start living
Today I’m gonna keep on walking
I’m gonna hold my head up high
I’m gonna leave it all behind
Today I’m gonna stand out in the rain
Let it wash it all away Yeah wash it all away
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
I’m gonna let it go Oh yeah
Oh yeah

Well, I'm in the NC. The flights were smooth and all on time, so that was a plus. I was really freaking out thinking I might miss the flight to Wilmington, but I made it with a comfortable cushion of time. Hopefully Chicago weather will be good enough for me to fly in on time next Saturday!




At first, when I arrived, I thought it was going to be a little bit awkward seeing as I haven't seen my cousins in ten years, but I tell ya it was as though I'd gone there every summer! [[Bad comma splice, I know.]] First we went to McDonald's and on our way in we saw this "homeless" lady. We're like there's no way she's homeless. She was wearing NICE boots, and nice, clean clothes. Not only that, she had a niiiiiice backpack with her. Not a shopping cart or a bag that's falling apart. Sometimes you see that in people that really are homeless. Anyway, we're sitting in Mickey D's and all of a sudden we see this homeless guy out the window looking in the direction of that lady. Honest to God, we thought there was going to be a "hobo hoe-down." My cousin Shawn was like, "he's thinking 'bitch that's my corner!'" Haha so true too! Sadly, he did look homeless. He was more raggaty and his bag looked like one of those old army bags that was falling apart. Then when we were pulling out of the lot we saw this other homeless guy across the street. Hahaha we were all thinking the same thing, "look it's that rich woman's husband! They're trying to support her shopping." Teehee >.<




Well I'm going to bed now, since it's an hour later here than there. So right now it's midnight, basically. I will probably update in the near future, and picture will be coming after the trip [[since I epically failed to bring my USB camera cord]]

For some reason I'm in a really awkward mood. I'm not as excited for Christmas anymore, like I was earlier. I feel really stressed out. I used to complain about working a lot, but now I find myself complaining that I don't work quite enough. Fernando told me that Mary is cutting everyone's hours and that there will be no more pay raises.


As far as school goes, this semester is almost over. Thank God for that. I still have to write my research paper, which is due December 16. I have my Anthropology final on Monday, the 8th, and I'm absolutely terrified. On the upside, I figured out that even if I get a 50% on the final I will still pass the class with a C - good enough for core. I'm a bit worried about my Theology final, though. The first quiz and mid-term I pulled a 73%, but on the last quiz we took I got a 67%. I was getting an 84% after the mid-term, but now I have no idea what I'm getting and that scares me. Also, I have a paper due in that class, and I'm not quite sure how well I'm going to do on it. I feel like it's kick ass, but it's probably not.


Tomorrow is my mother's birthday, and that should be a good thing. I bought her this really expensive perfume/lotion/body wash set from Macy's. It cost $70. I plan on cookie spaghetti and meatballs tomorrow, a fairly simple dish that I don't think I could possibly screw up *crosses fingers* lol.


Other than that, I just want this week and next to be over. I've been thinking a lot lately, and I'm not sure why. Yesterday I went to my boyfriend's house for the first time in what seems like forever. I probably haven't been there to actually hang out in over a month or two. I have grown more attached to his niece now. I feel bad that I had something against her, but I still can't put my finger on what it was. I was thinking maybe it was jealousy, but now I'm not quite sure. Anyway, I played with his niece and nephew yesterday. I love his nephew so much, he's such a little cutie. Yesterday we went to the store, and I was carrying his nephew. All these people thought he was my kid. lol. It was funny. So yeah, that's my story for the time being. I suppose when there's something more interesting to read I will update.

Well, since I have no class and am stuck in the library until 12:45 I might as well update. Not a whole lot has been going on recently... just working and going to school.



I'm currently working about five days a week, and I am hating every minute of it. I go to school, and I hardly have time for homework. Honestly, I think the only homework I actually do is Spanish homework, and I really don't even NEED to do it. Mary is putting me in charge of holiday orders... why you might ask? Well let me be honest with you, it's because I'm the only person there that speaks English well enough. Sure, pretty much EVERYONE else speaks English, but not as well as I do. So yeah.



As far as school goes, it's kinda bad. My grades are... not good. Spanish I'm getting an A, but you have to try to fail that class-honestly. Human Origins I am getting exactly a 70%... and we have a test next Friday. If I don't get at least a B on that test, there is NO way I'll be able to pass it in order for it to count towards one of my Science Cores. Fml. Theology isn't so bad, last I heard I was getting an 84%, but today we had a quiz and we have a six page paper due on the 4th. We were supposed to tell him our topics last week. My problem isn't finding a topic, it's figuring out what question I'd like to answer. Why do we have to write a Theology paper? *Rhetorical question* My last class is UCWR, which although I hate it being one hour and fifteen minutes, isn't that bad. The documentary paper and journals are easy As, she said so herself. Basically if you stay on topic and write two pages, you receive an A. Other than that, we only have two papers in the class: the Argumentative and the Research. I don't know what I got on the Argumentative, but it couldn't be that bad. I believe I'll at least pull a C from that class. So all I'm really worried about is Anthro... and if I study hard core for this test this weekend and next week (when I get home from work) I should be set... maybe... hopefully.



Life outside of school, work, and hockey is minimal. I spend almost every Saturday at home... almost by choice. Between working all week, going to school, and going to hockey I'm exhausted. Saturday's are my "me days" where I just relax in my room all day, watching TV and catching up on homework. On occasional Saturday's people might actually believe that I am not dead. I don't know if when you pluralize the word "Saturday" if there is supposed to be an apostraphe, but I don't care at the moment lol. So yeah, my Saturdays are relaxing. I don't work all day Sunday anymore-or at least I haven't for the last two weeks-so I am able to sleep in a little bit on Sunday as well, and relax before work. I wouldn't mind going out on some Saturday's, though.



What else is new in my life? Hm... well I got my first tattoo last Saturday >.< I love it. It's the Kanji symbol for "Eternal." I got it in memory of my cousin who, unfortunately, passed away on October 26th of this year. I intend on adding his initials around it, later. Oh yeah, also I am kind of pissed off at the moment. In my Theology class, there is this kid... who is kinda creepy, but yeah, so he sometimes isn't able to make it to class so I decided to be nice and answer his e-mail to the class requesting notes. Then last week I was absent. I figured, hey, since I gave him maybe four days worth of notes, he might reciprocate and send me one day of notes. I e-mailed him and he said not a problem, that he was a little late that day, but he could send me what he had. Perfect, I thought. Having any notes is better than no notes, especially with a test coming up. Of course, yesterday rolls around (I e-mailed him Tuesday) and I'm trying to study for the test. I'm frantically making note cards of all the notes from the past three weeks. I get home from hockey at midnight, and he finally e-mailed me at 10:39 pm, apologizing that he can't send me the notes because he LOST his fucking notebook. Man, was I pissed. I had just sent him notes, as well. At the end of his e-mail he wrote, "Thank God I saved your notes!" Ugh. *Grinding teeth*



Anywho, I believe it's time to stop boring y'all. So how is everyone else doing? I hope well :]

Everything will be alright, yeah


The heart is stronger than you think
Like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can’t it finds a way to still push on, though


Sometime you want to run away
Ain’t got the patience for the pain
And if you don’t believe it look into your heart, the beat goes on


I’m telling you
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don’t let up
Don’t you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know


If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up
Through it all, just stand up


It’s like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don’t mean it gotta take control, no (no)


You ain’t gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don’t wanna let your mind keep playing you
And saying you can’t go on


I’m telling you,
Things get better through whatever
If you fall, dust if off, don’t let up
Don’t you know you can go, be your own miracle, you need to know


If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough (ohh)
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up (don't you give up)
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up (don't give up, just stand up)
Through it all, just stand up (just stand up)
Through it all, just stand up


You don’t gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off, you can live your life (yeah)
Let your heart be your guide, oh (yeah yeah yeah)
You will know that you’re good if you trust the in good
Everything will be alright, yeah (alright)
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And It will get better through whatever


If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up (don't give up, don't give up, no no no)
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up
Through it all, just stand up


If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what, don’t give up (don't give up, don't give up)
Through it all, just stand up


You got it in you, find it within (everything will be alright, yeah)
You got in ya, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within
You got in you, find it within ya
You got in you, find it within (everything will be alright, yeah)
You got in you, find it within ya
Find it within you, find it within
Through it all, just stand up

So how is everyone? Hope they're all good. I'm here to update about my weekend, and apologize in advance for the bitch I might be to people, or have been to people since Sunday.



My party was Saturday, I hope people had fun. I will admit though, I'm a little upset that a few people left early because there wasn't any alcohol... I wasn't aware that we would need that to have fun. It kind of made me sad, to be honest, because I rarely have friends over and rarely see these people. It made me upset to think that they couldn't have fun without being drunk... I don't know. I have nothing against drinking, but I don't even know what made people assume that alcohol would be there in the first place.



Sunday was hell for me. I woke up around ten and went on Myspace only to find a comment, from my cousin Shawn, telling me to call him as soon as I got this. When I called, his wife answered. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that Ryan, Shawn's brother, passed away in a car accident around 2 in the morning. I couldn't help but start crying. I hadn't seen him in ten years, and I was, well I still am, planning on visiting in January. I never got a chance to actually hang out with him as an adult. He was only 31, way too young to die. I had to go to work at noon. When I got there, Eduardo asked me what was wrong and I started crying. He spent 45 minutes on the phone, trying to find someone to cover my 10 hour shift. The best he could do was get me off at 5. After that he (Eduardo) drove me to Martin's.



Monday I didn't go to school, I just took it easy until work. Annie got pissed at me because we had a line for 1.5 hours and I was just cashiering. We got in a huge argument and I finally broke and told her what was wrong. She then felt bad for yelling at me.



So that was my weekend. I have to go drop my Anth 103 today, but other than that life is okay. My father doesn't want to go to NC to see my uncle, so I guess that means I'm not going. Idk yet. *Shrug* Will update more later, my CTT professor is staring at me.

Well yesterday was quite stressful. I missed my first class... which I shouldn't have but Monday I was so exhausted and frustrated from work that I really couldn't force myself to wake up at 5 am.

So maybe I'll start with work... I had to close. Mary didn't leave until 8, when she was already supposed to be off when I got in at 5. I got hounded for putting too much food on the plate, not once, not twice, but THREE times by THREE different people! When Annie, politely, told me the third time I was a bitch to her. I didn't mean to be, but I was like, "Okay, shit, I know I've been told already." Then I was stocking the condiment dolly, and it decided to be a bitch. All the lids fell off, onto the floor. Ugh. So overall, a frustrated night at work.

Yesterday rolls around and I miss CTT. Hopefully we didn't do anything critical in the class--probably just talked about God some more, like we do... everyday. So I arrived at school around 10:40ish. I had been studying for my Bio Background test for over 2 hours, and I'm pretty darn sure I failed anyhow. So that sucked. Then I had to go to UCWR... it wasn't that bad, but I have two papers due on October 16th, neither of which have I begun to write yet. Oops.

So I got home around five and lounged around for an hour. My mother told me that Mary had called the house earlier--I was thinking she'd want me to come in. I dreaded calling her back, I didn't really want to work. Finally I did call her back and all she wanted was to tell me I got extra hours. She informed me that I was now working 5-close on Wed., and 4-close on Sunday. Awesome! I picked up like 8 extra hours... which means $64 more lol. Yay! For the hard work I have to do, I get paid pretty poorly, but oh well, what you gon' do about it? So I went off to my room and studied for my Spanish Mid-term. I spent 3 hours studying, while listening to the Sox game. THEY WON 1-0! Yay!!! Anyway lol. Then I had to go to hockey at 10:30. Boo.

Once again, I came home exhausted. I showered, studied more, and went to bed. Mommy drove me to school again because there was no way I was getting up at 5 am to catch a 5:55 train. So I believe I did well on my Mid-term. I'm pretty confident in my work. Now I'm chillin' in the library until either Araceli texts me or it comes time for Anthro with Ms. Easy-Breezy. Either way, it's gonna be pretty chill. After class I get to go home and relax until 5, then I have to depart for work. I hope Annie is closing, because I can't deal with the stress that Mary might put on me. -_-

So the weekend went well. Friday I worked from 6 p.m until 10 p.m, then I went to Martin's until like 3 a.m. It was alright. On Saturday, Eduardo called me at like 9:30 in the morning asking me if I wanted to work from 11 until 2. So I did that. I like picking up extra hours... it's extra money para mi! :D Then I went home and got ready to go to the Sox game!!! They lost, but it was still fun. I got home around ten and was asleep by 11 or so. Sunday I had to work from 12 until 3. It was a fairly fast shift, except stupid Mercedes didn't close properly on Saturday night, so I spent the first hour of my shift stocking lids, cups, plates, and the condiment dolly. Also, I had to do the lemonade. I was so frustrated, this girl doesn't do shit! She's so lazy! Well after I got off my shift I went to the AT&T store and got my Iphone! Yay! It cost me... $330. *Is ashamed* but it's pretty awesome! I went there at like 4... and got home at 5:30. It was crazyness. After that I went to Walgreens and visited Mary at Boston Market to complain about Mercedes. Then I came home, ate dinner, and watched Desperate Housewives. Overall, a fairly relaxing weekend, but I can't wait until this weekend!!! Four days, woot! Honestly, though, that doesn't mean much. The day time will be spent writing my two papers that are due on October 14th. *Ugh* Oh well. I guess it's alright. It's not like I'd do anything else during the day anyway. Anywho, that's all the news worth printing I suppose. I have to go to Anthro in about 15 minutes, so for now I'm just chillin' :]

So today's is going pretty good. I'm happy :]. Last night I went to Borders just to chill. It was very relaxing. I bought a bible for Christianity... even though I don't think I need it anymore? Oh well it was only $6 and since I'm going to a Jesuit College I know I will be using it again within the next 4 years. So yay. Also, I started writing a story. I'm very excited. It's about a vampire slayer. Yay! My interest was NOT sparked by the Twilight Saga, btw. Just thought I'd let everyone know... seeing as everyone's calling me obsessed. I'm really not. I just like reading the books. :D Today is going to be fairly relaxing as well. I'm done around 12:20, then I'm going to lunch with Celi and Fran :D sweeeeeeet. I'll get home around... 2:30ish. Then I'm just gonna chill out. Watch some tv. Do some homework. RELAX that's what it's all about! Yay for procrastination. I have so much to do too and I really don't care lol. Actually I do care. On another note... my grandfather is getting remarried. What the fuck!? I mean the only reason I'm happy is because it means an extra vacation to NC. Yay for visiting warm, hurricane stricken areas wooooooot! lol. Plus he's paying for my mother and I to fly out there... so a free vacation is what I'm looking forward to. It's supposed to happen in November or later... hopefully it doesn't interfere with anything big. Then I won't be able to go :[ and I really want to! There's really nothing else to post I suppose. I have about an hour before my next class. Ick. Anthropology with Ms. Easy-Breezy. *strange lady* Oh wells. Adios muchachos... or rather muchachas since it's only girls that read this :D